Growing up in a Latin household, tradition meant celebrating on the 24th (Nochebuena) by eating freshly made tamales, drinking hot ponche, and playing games together. At the stroke of midnight, we exchange “Feliz Navidad!” with a hug and open our gifts. The 25th (actual Christmas) was typically taken as a day of rest.
This is what I grew up with and was accustomed to. As a little girl, the holiday season meant warmth, excitement, and a sense of comfort through humming along to Christmas carols (in both English and Spanish).
To me, the epitome of Christmas magic was not Santa Claus, but getting lost inside the Christmas tree.
I remember I loved laying down under the Christmas tree and looking up at the tree’s fairy tale-esque inner world. It was my absolute favorite thing to do and see- the tree’s inner darkness was the stage to the incredible show. The dazzling lights that looked like fairies hiding in the branches, the glow from the lights reflecting onto the multi-colored ornaments making them look like different planets and flowers, the faint yet unmistakable faint sparkle of the star at the top like the North Star, all accompanied by the lights’ music box.
As the years passed, that magic that used to enchant me slowly died. Over time, the warmth cooled and silence became the new soundtrack. Although this used to make me sad, I feel lucky to have recently learned to use it as a new start, a reset.
Getting older has meant learning that magic is created with effort and imagination, which brings excitement.
Though I’ve already spent several Christmas holidays away from the traditions that I knew and missed, this year’s Christmas was heavily influenced by last year’s Nochebuena. Simply put, yesterday and today were filled with laughs, great company, and no discomfort or uneasiness- everything was the opposite of the previous year. It was just my husband and I, but it was a blank Christmas with endless possibilities of new traditions to be made. Even writing this feels like a small weight off my shoulders, but that could also be because I’m watching Mr. Bean’s Christmas episode while writing this!
I love the gift my husband gave me, but I think my gift to myself is my favorite by far- putting my happiness and mental health first.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones!