I haven’t written these words anywhere nor announced it, but here goes nothing: I am finally back in America, permanently. I’ve been back for a complete week.
The first two days were very surreal but also filled with panic attacks I kept to myself. I couldn’t believe I was with my family again, but I was in shock that my husband wasn’t nearby anymore. It really felt and still feels as though the last 5 years in Korea were a dream I suddenly woke up from. Truthfully, the first two nights were extremely rough; although the days felt as if I had woken up from a dream, nights brought the reality of no longer sharing a bed and a cuddle with my love. Adding to that is that I returned to my family but their home now is in a different town/city, a new house that is completely their own, and a much more quiet environment. It’s all a lot of adjustments to take in at once. Let’s not forget that I also returned to a completely different America and I am a completely different person. I don’t know what to expect, but I also don’t want to expect anything except for reverse culture shocks.
My anxious mind naturally goes to thinking about the future as a whole, but the moment I got in the car for the final time in Korea to go to Incheon Airport, I set my mind to take things one at a time. Since then, I took things one minute at a time, one hour at a time, and one day at a time. It’s been difficult, however it’s made this first week so much easier to experience. Going forward I want to keep taking things one day at a time, all the while reminding myself to look back at the end of the week as a whole to see how far I have come and how much I accomplished in just that week.
Around the 3rd day I got sick with the flu, and so I have only been thinking about the present moment and the next 5 minutes (mostly thoughts of “Am I near a tissue?” and “Don’t sneeze, don’t sneeze”). Albeit being sick, I am patting myself on the back for getting through these past 7 days that started out rough but turned into a sense of normalcy and accomplishment.
Speaking of accomplishment, I will find a picture that suits this post soon enough and add it as the cherry on top.